Friday, September 7, 2012


Day 7- 2dp5dt
Goal- to not have to switch to Endometrin 3x a day
Met?- so far
Mood- good
Symptoms- crampy, lots of twinges, headache, tired
POAS?- no
Want to?- getting there
Report- I've decided to stay on the 2ml PIO for the time being. It's been going pretty good with minimal soreness. My nurse told me I could switch to the 1" needles so when I refilled my PIO perscription I had them send me some shorter needles, which I've been using for the past two nights. I must say... I think I prefer the longer ones! The short needles feel like they put the oil too close to the surface. With the longer ones, my soreness is deeper, making it feel more dull. The short ones it hurts right under the skin and the pain is sharper, more stingy. I'll try them for two more days, see if I get better. At least I can move more upper and outer without hitting bone (I think I poked a bit deep a few nights ago... It was not pleasant... Hence the request for the shorter needles)

Aside from that, I have been analyzing... more like over-analyzing... my symptoms. My left side has been very active with cramps and twinges and pokes and pulling. Granted, this IS the sides that had the tube fused to the ovary, so it tends to be quite twingy usually, but I really think this feels different. Maybe.
My right side is more of a constant dull achey, crampy, periody feeling. I don't know what to make of it but I'm still holding on to the thought that it's the babies snuggling in!
I have also been incredibly tired! I have been in bed by 10pm every night this week. As I might have mentioned, I tend to be a night owl, so this behavior is not typical for me. Yes, it's likely the progesterone making me sleepy, but I like to think my body is just tired from accepting and beginning to grow the twins. ;)
As far as the headaches, I'm attributing those to being tired and the meds. 

It's funny the way our brains work sometimes. I've had a lot of twinges and sensations today, but yesterday my cramps were more of the dull, AF variety. Now, I know cramps are to be expected, are totally normal, and could be a good sign, but a small part of me still worried that I was getting my period. It's the same part of my brain that yells "oh no, my embies!" when I sneeze and that told me not to go pee after my transfer, even though my bladder felt ready to explode. The logical part of me knows my embies won't "fall out" and that there is nothing to can do to force or push them out, but that small part still says, "they were outside of you, now they're inside of you, and they can still come back out."
I think most of us who have dealt with infertility have these thoughts and fears. It's the "infertile" part of our brains that tell us these crazy things. Because having dealt with so much disappointment and heartache, having been through so much pain, all we know is worst-case-scenario. The only thing we can do about out infertility brain is not listen to it. Not indulge in its craziness. Sometimes it's hard to quiet that fatalistic little voice, but I'm sure as hell going to do my best.

Oh goodness, it's past 11! No wonder my brain is so foggy... It's LATE!

Thank You, God, for continuing to bless us. Please keep my embryos strong and snuggled into my uterus and give me peace and strength in the weeks to come, no matter what.

1 comment:

  1. I hate that feeling of being constantly worried. 2ww is torture for sure. I was told once that the embies in your uterus are like grains of rice in a pb sandwich. So, thinking of that helped me when I was worried of them falling out. :)