Monday, September 10, 2012

Manly Monday- A Quick Rundown on Patrick

I've been following Stupid Stork's blog and love her idea of Manly Monday.... Giving little insights into our marriage and husbands... So I'm excited to join in.

How do I begin describing him? 
He is exactly my opposite in nearly every way. He is the out-going, loud, party-loving, jock type I never expected to get along with so well. He mades me laugh every single day.
We met when I was 18 and he was 22. We both worked at Macaroni Grill (I was a hostess, he was a waiter/bartender) and he was always making me laugh. He flirted with me and asked me out a few times, and though I was interested, I was weary because he was a typical frat boy and I didn't want to just be a piece of ass to him. So when we finally did hang out, and he tried to kiss me, I straight-up turned my face and snubbed him! You would think he'd give up after that, but he didn't. The next time he just got me drunk and the rest is history!

Patrick has voices that he does for the dogs. Each dog has its own voice... Foxy is a southern belle, the puppies are British because he couldn't figure out how to do the Australian accent for our Australian shepards, and my sister's 150 pound white lab has a smooth talking black guy voice that refers to himself as "White Chocolate". 
It is so hilarious when he talks for the dogs! He will literally make me laugh until I cry.

Patrick is also a STAUNCH Republican. You want to get my man fired up? Talk politics. 

My husband cannot remember what happened five minutes ago, but he knows and remembers where nearly every football player went to college, their stats, and sometimes where they went to high school! He can quote movie lines all day, and knows the names of actors and actresses and what they've been in. When we go to a restaurant, he ALWAYS remembers the waiter/waitresses name. 

The best way to Patricks heart, is through his ego. He is as vain and image conscious as most women. Once, we were in a hurry and he came out to ask me how a pair of jeans looked on him. He had lost some weight and was between his "skinny" clothes and his "heavy" clothes and the jeans were from the "skinny" closet... so they were a bit tight. I knew that if I said anything negative it would be a while before we got out of the house so I told him, "They make your package look good."
He wore those jeans every chance he got!
If I want to get my way, I compliment how big his muscles are, or how sexy he looks in a particular shirt. Now, I love how big his muscles are and he is positively yummy in certain shirts... But I try not to stroke his ego all the time because his head would get so big it might explode.

Despite how "manly" my man tries to be, he SUCKS at doing anything handy. I would not allow him the hang Christmas lights for two years because we didn't have health insurance. I still do not allow power saws at the house without my dad's supervision. I came home one day and he was so excited that he had fixed one of our drawer fronts that had fallen off in the kitchen. When I walked in, that drawer was so friggin crooked, but he was so proud of his work. 

My 6'3", 240 pound husband is absolutely terrified of bugs... especially spiders. He will not even get close enough to spray them with bug spray and shrieks when he sees one. 

Speaking of shrieking... we play a game called "Danger!". It's simple... We try to scare each other, but instead of yelling "boo!" we yell "danger!" because when you hear danger, you automatically think danger, and it makes it that much scarier. My favorite place to get Patrick is in the shower. I sneak in, rip the shower curtain open, and yell "danger!!!" then laugh my ass off when Patrick curls into himself, lifts his leg to protect his delicate man-junk, puts his hands up, and shrieks!
He is still trying to get me back for that one.

There's so much more, but I'll get more into it for our next Manly Monday. Hope you guys have a better idea of the man taking this journey with me.

Thank You, God, for my wonderful husband!


  1. Hahaha!

    1. I'm going to need to hear a recording of the voice for white chocolate. I don't think I can get through life without it.

    2. You ever seen that Friend's episode where they jump out at each other and yell "DANGER!" Thanks to you I will be greeting my husband like this when he gets home.

  2. I think you and my husband would totally get along....and I love the DANGER thing....Babe is also afeard of spiders....and I say it that way because no man is afraid of anything....ya, right! He doesn't scream, but he kills them so dead they were never hatched....Thanks for the insight....

  3. This is so cute! I agree with Stupid Stork...I want to hear the voice! :) Danger also had me laughing a good bit. Can't wait to read your next Manley Monday!!