Crazy

Day 13- 8dp5dt

Goal- to not obsess

Met?- not so much

Mood- okayish

Symptoms- headache, tired, nauseous, some brownish spotting, heartburn

POAS?- yes

Report- I don't know why I try to kid myself. Not obsess? Me? Yeah.Friggin.Right. It's what I do! I should have learned by now that when I try to shut away the crazy it just busts the door down and comes rushing out in an all consuming tidal wave of psychoness. But if I put in a mental doggy door, the crazy has to squeeze out a little at a time and the flow is controlled. 

So I've allowed myself to test twice a day... With FMU and in the afternoon when I get home. It's comforting to me to see the progression and it's been amazing how quickly my tests have gotten DARK! I've found that my afternoon tests are usually much darker than my morning tests. 

And I do check and recheck them about a million times a day. It's no big deal when I'm home alone, but when Patrick comes home I have to make up reasons to go upstairs at random times. I'm crazy, I know.

The only thing I've done good not stressing over is spotting. I noticed a bit of old blood spotting on the TP last night, and it's been sporadic through the day today, but I know it's normal, could be from implantation, and unless it picks up, I'm not worried.

My second beta is tomorrow so I'm praying for a good doubling time. When I finally spoke to the nurse yesterday she originally said I didn't need another beta until Tuesday (WHAAAAT?!) but she called today and said I could go tomorrow.

Also, totally off topic, but do not EVER EVER EVER go through Wells Fargo to buy a house! It has been an absolute nightmare. We rented the house from the sellers when the bank delayed closing by a month a week before the contract was up, after a 45 day closing period. We rented so that we could move when we had anticipated and so the sellers wouldn't pull the contract.

Three days before the second closing date, the bank told us closing was going to cost $5000 more than they told us, so we had to delay for another two weeks until Patrick got his bonus. 

Now, we are suppose to close on Monday and the lady from the bank called today to tell us there are more "conditions" that need to be met, and we need to give them bank statements to show we have the money to close. Um, helllllloooo! We don't have the money... That's why we delayed. We will have the money after midnight tomorrow, but that's not going to show on the bank statements!

Uggg! 

Please pray for us that it works out. I don't think the sellers will extend again... We put the offer in at the end of May!!!

Thank You, God, for the amazing blessing You have given us. Please keep my babies strong and growing in my uterus for the next nine months.

Please, please God, let everything work out with the bank so we can close on this hou